This blog has been a place for me to share life & work with y’all, & I think that the two have intersected sooooo much in the past few months. As always, I’m going to be real honest with y’all… it is so so so hard to be re-building my photography business in Houston, building my LipSense business, trying to keep the house semi-clean, re-learning to cook now that Max is commuting (I’ve been SPOILED y’all!), and being a mommy to these two.
Again, in all honesty, I haven’t always handled it as gracefully as I would hope. I’m still trying to figure out a balance to all of this, and I’m not sure that good balance is ever something that is found. I think it’s something that is continually in flux, something that must be continually worked on & nurtured.
I know they are going to see me fail – a lot. And sometimes that means I’m not the best mommy I can be, or even the decent mommy I should be. While I know those mommy-fail moments (or the business-fail moments, or the personal-fail moments) aren’t ideal, I hope that someday, they can look back and see how hard their parents worked. That we really worked at our education, at business, at faith, at parenting, at marriage, at self-care & at life. That the hard work is worth it, even if that means failing sometimes. I hope they learn from us that the hard work is needed even more after a fall, and that it does bring a return.
Because if these two can grow up to be the kind of women who keep working hard at the things that matter & giving themselves a little grace in the process – even when the failing makes them want to quit – then I’ve helped teach them a lesson that will serve them their whole lives. If they can work hard for the things that matter to them, for the things that in their hearts they know are right, they will be successful no matter how it looks from the outside. And I hope they can look back at growing up with me & know that they learned that being a human – an imperfect human – is more than just ok.
Lately we have been in a season with Peanut where it seems that almost every simple, little task turns into a drawn-out battle.
Eating breakfast, getting dressed, getting in the car, cleaning up, going to the bathroom, eating dinner, feeding the dogs, getting in PJs, going to bed… and on and on.
These seemingly simple things are now something to be fought in marathon fashion.
It drives me absolutely crazy, and I try to pick my battles, but when the battles include the necessary steps for 1. staying alive, & 2. going to school everyday, there’s not a whole lot of choice in the matter. It seriously seems like the only thing she agrees to & picks up the pace for is to get to the couch to watch Doc McStuffins…
I’ve been trying to get some perspective on this (’cause if I can’t get it to stop, I might as well get something positive out of it), and I realized that I’m probably a lot like that with God’s necessary steps too. I’m sure I take waaaaaaay longer than needed to follow his plan. I’m sure I seem to question His wisdom & fight His intentions. In short, I probably act like a small child with a semi-attitude issue.
But the good thing is that He is infinitely more patient than I am. He is infinitely more loving than I am. And He extends infinitely more grace than I give to Peanut (or myself).
So if you’re a parent who has some crazy-life hacks for this mama of two strong willed girls – LET. ME. KNOW. Teach me your ways!!! And if you’re just a mama who’s in the thick of it too – I’d love to hear from you! And if you’re just a kind soul who wants to send up a prayer that I can grow to be ever more like God, especially as a parent, I’d cherish the prayers – and you.
A few of our most recent threenager melt-downs have been because something fun is ending – Halloween trick-or-treating/handing out candy, & then not getting to finish an episode on TV before heading to school.
In the midst of the meltdowns, and especially once she’s calmed down again, I’m trying my best to teach her that when we’re sad about something good ending, it’s best to just focus on the fun & stay happy. That when we get sad about the end, it adds in more negative feelings rather than just holding onto the positive ones.
I am completely aware that this lesson/reasoning is more advanced than a three-year-old can really appreciate. But I’m starting now in the hopes that as she gets older, this may be one of the lessons that really sticks & helps form who she is as a person. And let’s be real honest here, it’s a lesson I am still trying to teach myself.
Just in the past week, as I left California & all of my family, and again when I left Austin & two of my best friends, it was really hard to fight off the tears & the sadness at the leaving. But I really did try to keep my heart in the happiness that the trips brought long after leaving. And you know what? It helped.
So if you’re in the midst of an ending, leaving a place or a time or a season that you’ve loved & enjoyed, try to keep your heart in that place of gratitude & enjoyment rather than entering that place of sadness & mourning that comes so naturally to most of us. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to extend that joyful season just a little bit longer.