This blog has been a place for me to share life & work with y’all, & I think that the two have intersected sooooo much in the past few months. As always, I’m going to be real honest with y’all… it is so so so hard to be re-building my photography business in Houston, building my LipSense business, trying to keep the house semi-clean, re-learning to cook now that Max is commuting (I’ve been SPOILED y’all!), and being a mommy to these two.
Again, in all honesty, I haven’t always handled it as gracefully as I would hope. I’m still trying to figure out a balance to all of this, and I’m not sure that good balance is ever something that is found. I think it’s something that is continually in flux, something that must be continually worked on & nurtured.
I know they are going to see me fail – a lot. And sometimes that means I’m not the best mommy I can be, or even the decent mommy I should be. While I know those mommy-fail moments (or the business-fail moments, or the personal-fail moments) aren’t ideal, I hope that someday, they can look back and see how hard their parents worked. That we really worked at our education, at business, at faith, at parenting, at marriage, at self-care & at life. That the hard work is worth it, even if that means failing sometimes. I hope they learn from us that the hard work is needed even more after a fall, and that it does bring a return.
Because if these two can grow up to be the kind of women who keep working hard at the things that matter & giving themselves a little grace in the process – even when the failing makes them want to quit – then I’ve helped teach them a lesson that will serve them their whole lives. If they can work hard for the things that matter to them, for the things that in their hearts they know are right, they will be successful no matter how it looks from the outside. And I hope they can look back at growing up with me & know that they learned that being a human – an imperfect human – is more than just ok.
A few of our most recent threenager melt-downs have been because something fun is ending – Halloween trick-or-treating/handing out candy, & then not getting to finish an episode on TV before heading to school.
In the midst of the meltdowns, and especially once she’s calmed down again, I’m trying my best to teach her that when we’re sad about something good ending, it’s best to just focus on the fun & stay happy. That when we get sad about the end, it adds in more negative feelings rather than just holding onto the positive ones.
I am completely aware that this lesson/reasoning is more advanced than a three-year-old can really appreciate. But I’m starting now in the hopes that as she gets older, this may be one of the lessons that really sticks & helps form who she is as a person. And let’s be real honest here, it’s a lesson I am still trying to teach myself.
Just in the past week, as I left California & all of my family, and again when I left Austin & two of my best friends, it was really hard to fight off the tears & the sadness at the leaving. But I really did try to keep my heart in the happiness that the trips brought long after leaving. And you know what? It helped.
So if you’re in the midst of an ending, leaving a place or a time or a season that you’ve loved & enjoyed, try to keep your heart in that place of gratitude & enjoyment rather than entering that place of sadness & mourning that comes so naturally to most of us. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be able to extend that joyful season just a little bit longer.
I received a suggestion a little while ago to read The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss, and I was intrigued and decided to give it a try. I haven’t gotten too far into the book just yet, but I think one of the main points is really interesting, and warrants taking a little bit of time to really think about your current life & plans for the future.
Ferriss talks about the mentality of the “New Rich” and how rather than putting off enjoyment, travel and rejuvenation to the end of life in retirement, we can inject mini-retirements periodically into our lives as we go. We can work fewer hours without location constraints, so travel is a viable option at all times.
Now, the old-school part of me thinks sure, that’s great and all, but in the real world most people have to put in the work, pay your dues, and earn the enjoyment of retirement.
The other part of me sees the value in this way of thinking and not putting-off living until later, when we may or may not be capable. And there’s always the thought that changing financial situations may not allow for the things we think we’ll do “someday.”
One key thing that really stuck with me right away though was that you have to be intentional about the time you want to free up. So if you’re working to cut back your workdays from 5 days to 4 days a week, you can’t just be working to have more free time. You need to want to have the time for a specific reason – whether it’s learning to bake, being able to make it to your kids’ sports competitions, or traveling to historic landmarks around your state.
The key is to be specific, and work to make sure you’re living too. And really, whether you follow the rest of the plan or buy into the “New Rich” idea/lifestyle, I think that is such a valuable lesson and reminder to us all. Be smart, but don’t keep putting off living until later!
So what is one thing that you want to intentionally start building into your life?