This quote couldn’t be more true when it comes to me and parenting… except that I’d say I’m still in the learning process.
When you have a to-do list kind of personality, and you like things in order, parenting definitely pushes you out of that “perfect ending” category in so many of the day-to-day things. You can’t always work on something uninterrupted. You can’t always have your house the way you’ve left it. You can’t always sleep.
Yes, gone are those nights of sleeping on your own schedule.
We have been fortunate that overall, Peanut has been a very good sleeper. But sometimes, like last night… that all goes out the window.
Those sleepless nights push you even farther out of the “perfect ending” category. They push you into the early morning hours, grasping at straws – reaching for any idea to get that little one to just go back to sleep.
They push you into the realm of practicing patience that you didn’t even know existed. You can’t reason with them. You can’t make that poem rhyme. They push you into figuring out how to take the moment and make the best of it.
Sometimes you feel like you fail at parenting. Sometimes it’s like a maze you think you’ll never get out of… and then sometimes you realize that there’s no better maze to be caught in.
It’s hard. Yes.
It’s frustrating. Yes.
It’s exhausting. YES.
But it’s the most delicious kind of ambiguity.
And in those sleepless nights, I will continue to try to make the best of it – soaking in all the rocking chair snuggles. Relishing in the fact that when that little voice cries out, it’s calling your name.
And in the morning? I’ll pour an extra cup of coffee (or three), and soldier on. Praying for more sleep tonight, but mostly praying for the strength and wisdom and grace to accept whatever tonight holds for our little household – sound slumbering or restless waking hours. Either way, I’ll be trying to learn the lesson of just embracing all the unexpected twists and turns of mommyhood.